I had a pretty good day today, besides the fact that i died like twice.

I fell on the stairs TWICE today in the exact SAME spot. So embarrassing! The first time was during 3rd period in Digital Photography. I was walking around with my friend Allison and we were taking the stairs up to the main lobby to get back to class. I don’t know what happened but one second I was talking to her and the next I completely wiped out on the steps. We laughed hysterically, all the way back to class. Then the next period, I was returning from the cafeteria with my brownie and water bottle to join Trevor in our Journalism classroom and I crashed down on the steps just as before, as if someone had set up a trip-wire. It was extremely embarrassing the second time because I was all alone. Just my luck, I fell in front of the lunch windows where everyone’s sitting. I recovered quickly and ran back to class laughing and shaking my head the whole way. Luckily I didn’t drop my brownie but man, my knee hurts when it’s bent. I can feel a massive bruise right behind my knee cap. I haven’t examined the damage yet but I don’t expect it to be pretty.

Someone’s out to get me, I know it.

I’m feeling a bit creative, I would like to create a new layout sometime soon. I really like this one but I am in a creative mood so I will do my best to satisfy my cravings. Should I end up with something I like, I may attempt to skin my site so people can choose which layout they want to see.

Right now I am in a mood to work with Adobe Illustrator and vectoring. I need to learn how it all works and practice. I’m currently in the process of downloading and installing Illustrator…shhh don’t tell.

I am also trying to get custom smilies to work with WordPress. I was tinkering with a plug-in earlier but it wasn’t working so I just chucked it. If anyone has any recommendations or suggestions, please let me know!

So I had that whole second-guessing moment earlier in the week that I blogged about. During that time, Trevor was in Nova Scotia with his family closing up his summer home so I didn’t see him until was in school yesterday. I think it was good for me not to see him for a couple days because it made me appreciate him more and mostly crave the smell of his cologne. I have better self restraint than to jump on him and bury my face into his chest but that’s what I’d really like to do.

Maybe if we weren’t in school. I don’t want to be pegged as the next PDA (Public Displays of Affection) couple of our school. We have enough of those to satisfy every horny freshman boy’s soft-core porn fix for the whole year. GET A FRIKKIN’ ROOM!

So on Friday we have our Jr./Sr. Semi Formal Dance (aka Semi). Originally I had decided not to go but now I’m not sure. I would be with Trevor regardless but I still haven’t decided. This week is going by quite fast, I can’t believe it’s already Wednesday. Where the hell did Tuesday go? Anyways, we may spend the evening in Boston with a couple of my girlfriends.

Saturday is a big day. After work Trevor’s picking me up and we’re having dinner at my house. Yes, it’s time for the boy to meet the parents. I’ve already meet his family and I knew that sooner or later my parents would have to meet and accept him but I am a bit nervous. His family is so welcoming and used to entertaining guests but my parents are rather lame and usually distance themselves when I have guests over. I can just imagine us eating dinner and having extremely awkward silences. Trevor’s told me that he makes any situation fun and I don’t doubt that but I can’t imagine my soft-spoken Japanese mother to say much during dinner.

But luckily we won’t be stuck there for too long. After dinner Trevor and I are going out to see the new James Bond movie.

Sunday after work I am going to the mall with my friends Allison and Laycie. I want to get some slip-on Vans, winter clothes and am in dire need of a new lingerie line-up. I would invite Trevor but obviously our relationship isn’t at a point where we should be shopping for unmentionables together…and won’t be for a while.

So I am pretty busy for the rest of this week. Next week is cut short with a half-day on Wednesday to begin the Turkey Day break. I’ll be in Maine for, most if not all of the break but I will definitely bring along my iTouch and most likely my computer to keep in touch with everyone.

So since my last post, I have spent much of the week with Trevor, we became an official couple, even sealed it with a kiss. I have met his whole household and then some, he has yet to meet my parents but everything is going quite well…

Except he is punch-drunk in love and I am, well, what would you say, sober? I do like him, and his being so family oriented is a huge turn-on but I’m just not that physically attracted to him. I don’t get the fireworks when we kiss. It’s not that the kissing is awkward but maybe I was expecting something amazing and am a little let down. I can’t say he’s a bad kisser because I have really nothing to compare him to.

But I love cuddling with him and by god does his cologne smell amazing! I’m hoping that something will click and I do fall for him at least enough to stick with him for a while longer. I’m not expecting wedding bells, just something more than a charade.

On Friday, Trevor (aka the guy who is infatuated with me) invited me to see his football game and even went out of his way to get me a free sports pass so I wouldn’t have to pay. The game was intense and unfortunately we lost by 3 points in the last minute. He was pretty pissed off because of this so I didn’t get to see him after the game but I texted him that I was there. We spent much of the night texting each other and when I said goodnight to him it was 11:11. A sign?

Earlier that day in school we were talking about my job and Trevor had mentioned that he wanted to come visit me. Sure enough, at around 5 he strolled in, bought a coffee and stayed to chat with myself and my coworkers until we closed at 6. At one point he quietly asked me what I was doing after work. When I responded that I didn’t have any plans, he asked me if I would want to do something with him. No harm in hanging out right? So I took him up on the offer and after I got out of work he gave my friend a ride home and he asked me if I wanted to go see a movie with him and his family. We didn’t end up going to a movie but the family and I watched some DVDs at his house.

The rest of the night we sat on the couch watching the Hulk and bits and pieces of other movies that were playing On Demand. Halfway through we ended up holding hands. At 12 Trevor drove me home and walked me to my door. Our night ended with a tight hug and a “see you soon.” Very sweet.

I can’t believe this is happening. I am such a noob when it comes to dating and relationships! The farthest I have ever been was making out with a friend during a lame game of spin-the-bottle in middle school.

Sorry for being such a crap blogger!

I really have no excuse for not updating. I see my blog every day because it’s my home page but I just wasn’t in the mood. I’m still not up to blogging much so I will just run through what’s happened.

1. Guy who likes me confessed his love in a “Love ya~” kind of gay-friend way, I dodged a verbal response by smiling and returning his high five…Still can’t decide if I like him back.
2. Halloween, dressed up in Kimono. Best in-school Halloween I’ve ever had. Night was spoiled with early bedtime for SAT. Planned to go with friend to meet her long lost half brother. He’s “very interested in meeting me.”
3. Took SAT 2 Subject test for Japanese with Listening, pretty much kicked SAT ass…I think. Followed by shopping in Boston, dinner in Chinatown…Scheduling problems kept brother from visiting.
4. Realized I practically live in Harvard Square because I spend so much time there…accepted my growing affection for Har-Squar
5. No School today, breakfast at IHOP in Har-Squar then went to heart of Boston to chill with Maria, got a tour of Suffolk University riddled with stories of getting smashed and hooking up. Decided we should plan sleepover & trip to Salem, MA for shopping and wicked fun.

So a lot has been happening to me during my absence.

Finally I have finished a project for Shocolat.

I ‘ve been looking for an easier gallery tool to use because my other one was really complicated and once I added an album to it I couldn’t update it later. Now I use Lightbox 2. It’s a very simple script that is very flexible. Yay!

I had a little trouble in the beginning but the all of a sudden it worked! (I wish I could remember what change I made, I would love to write up a “Lightbox for dummies” tutorial.) It was probably a tiny tweak that I can find again if I retrace my steps.

So as of now I only have a small handful of photographs but I have more artwork tacked onto my fridge that will be scanned and uploaded. My most recent is a sketch of the anatomy of the ear that I did for my Psychology project. Don’t ask me the connection, I wouldn’t be able to tell you. Anyways, please visit my gallery and leave me feedback.

I really need a vacation. Just some time to run around with friends or to stay in working on Shocolat. I’ve really been wanting to work on this site, finish revamping my gallery, maybe add some new things…the only thing stopping me is my lack of time.

I miss being utterly carefree and bubbly. Like, I want to be ridiculously happy. I want to laugh ’till I cry and smile until my cheeks are red and sore. Not to say I haven’t had fits of euphoria but I just need extended ecstasy to get my energy going.

Tomorrow should be a good day though. I am going to Starbucks to get coffees and drinks during 1st period (I have independent study) and at 12 I am getting dismissed to celebrate my friend’s birthday. I wouldn’t normally do something like this but tomorrow we are supposed to have really short classes (until 12) then some stupid health awareness workshop thing for the rest of the day. It’s ridiculous…the only people who would get anything out of it would be people with actual problems like eating disorders and drug addiction. For all those like myself who really don’t have a problem, it’s a waste of time. I’m so excited!

I think I may be harboring some sadistic tendencies. I find comfort in some sensations, like playing with a hang nail or a sore finger. I hate hang nails but I am oddly drawn to that slight stinging throb or the sharp poking of a hang nail under my finger nail. Similarly, after repeatedly catching my index finger in the lids of coffee pitchers at work, I can’t seem to stop myself from pushing down on the nail to feel the hot soreness of pooled blood.

I’m sort of having a depressing week. We’ve gotten around to the “brag section” of the college applications and I’m starting to realize that most of my talents and what make me special are developed and nurtured almost secretively in the safety of my home life. My parents and I were going over my academic achievements, activities and contributions and I’ve got nothing. No, that’s an overstatement. I have almost nothing. The only think I feel truly enthusiastic about is language arts. There are no other classes or subjects I would be able to comfortably say that I have made any significant academic achievement in. Colleges only want to hear about what students have done and I fear that so much of what makes me as an individual shine will be missed because it has no affiliation to my work in school. Considering this, my eyelashes are heavy with tears but I am fighting them back. I am not in the mood for spontaneous fits of crying. It could also just be hormones. I’m due for a visit from mother nature soon. That bitch.

My adored hamster Meh-Meh died last night. She was so energetic, even yesterday but when I passed her on my way to my room around ten and noticed that she wasn’t looking very good. She was sprawled out across the floor of her tank. She seemed paralyzed except for her heavy breaths expanding and contracting in her stomach. She was so small and while stroking to comfort her I noticed she was very cold and I could feel all her bones. Just the other day when she was happily running around Paco she seemed fine, I hadn’t noticed any bones protruding from her cotton ball body. My tears matted her fur while I thanked her for all the fun memories, I told her that she could go now and bid her goodnight before closing her eyes. When I checked on her in the morning she was long gone, her body contorted from her final fits of movement. I adore her so much, I never thought I could love such a tiny animal so much. Thinking about how much I adore her just makes my heart flutter still. I will never be able to replace Meh-Meh.

I hope that wherever you are now, you have an endless supply of seeds and peanut butter-coated shredded wheat cereal. I adore you even in death. Thank you for three long years of pure joy and bliss.

I should be honored a BBS Award.

I went out shopping with my friends because Old Navy was having a huge Columbus Day weekend sale. I bought a new tote because my white one got dirty too fast. My new one is green and says “green is the new black.” Anyone who knows me knows that I am a sucker for everything green. I LOVE that color. I also bought a gray camisole with some lace on the top and a pair of low-rise skinny jeans♥.

Afterwards we had a little more time before I had to go to work so we drove down the road to the mall. I went to the Apple store to have my iPod checked out but my friend told me that I needed an appointment. We were browsing the goodies there when I had a fabulous idea. It was such an impulse but I couldn’t say no. My brother’s birthday is on the 23rd and he’s been asking my parents for an iPod Nano. My hands began to shake and my heart started beating a mile a minute. I browsed all the colors they had. Picked the blue 8 gig and watched the man behind the counter swipe my debit card. It was such a rush! My friend couldn’t believe that I would buy my brother an iPod with my own money.

I was meaning to keep it a secret until his birthday but I was too excited and I found out that he was planning on getting the black one…oops. But I surprised him at dinner and the headphones have been glued to his ears since then so I think he’s happy with it. xP